Berlin--One Giant Apology

Guten Tag,

I approached my first trip to Germany with a lot of excitement and apprehension. As someone with a strong German heritage (although, admittedly, I have not identified with it as much as I would like to), I was excited to see the place where my ancestors had once lived. Yet, I must admit that I feel a sense of 'German guilt' and was unsure how this would play out...especially in a city like Berlin. Well to be honest, this place truly transformed how I feel about my own heritage... and reaffirmed my identity as someone of German descent. At the same time, it provided me with a chance to examine a few key aspects of history (not only German history but world history).

At points, the trip to Berlin seemed like a tour of guilt... we saw parts of German history that no one is proud of. Berliners seem to be overly apologetic and remorseful of these aspects; at many times, they seemed to infiltrate ever aspect of life in a reunited Germany. We visited the Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp, the Stasi prison at Hohenschönhausen, the Holocaust Memorial, Holocaust Museum, the Berlin Wall (& Wall Museum), and the Berlin Unterwelten, the underground bomb shelters used during WWII and the Cold War. At some point, I began to wonder if there is much to the city except for these memories of the past. While important for all to see, I am not sure if it was good in such quick succession. Lets just say that I consumed large amounts of chocolate to keep my endorphin level high.

To be honest, I am really at a loss for words. I am not sure how to begin with emotions I felt in each one of these places. Grief? Sadness? Remorse? To be honest, I began to feel numb after awhile. I am not sure if I can truly explain or articulate what was running through my head during my trip to Berlin. Maybe after a few more weeks/months/years, I can truly comprehend what happened in these places...

The infamous 'book burning' square is on the left. On the right is the Berliner Dom, the largest church in the city. Notice the black marks from fire-bombing during WWII.

The Fernsehturm (radio tower) of Alexanderplatz... the main square of East Berlin next to one of the oldest churches in Berlin. This was shot was taken about 100 feet from our hostel. The building on the right is the Reichstag... the German Parliament building. Bombed and burned during WWII, it has been rebuilt and enhanced with the modern glass dome.

This church (whose name escapes me) was the focal point of West Berlin during the separation because the majority of the historical 'mitte' section of Berlin was in the Eastern portion of the city.

The famous Pergamon Museum in Berlin. It holds the famous bust of Nefertiti and the Ishtar Gate, which, unfortunately, was being refurbished.




Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp in Oranienburg, near Berlin. Barracks, gas ovens, and the chilling "arbeit macht frei" sign.

The Holocaust Memorial (& Museum underneath) in Berlin.

The Stasi (state police of East Germany) prison in the outskirts of Berlin. Thousands of people were imprisoned, interrogated, and kept in inhumane conditions after the division of Germany.


The indicative signs of the Berlin Wall. The upper left picture is Checkpoint Charlie--the checkpoint used by international citizens crossing from East to West. Remnants of the wall separating East and West. The Brandenburg Gate--the embodiment of a divided Germany.

Its hard to believe that one people, one city, and one person (at different times) can cause so much pain. I have yet to comprehend this level of hatred. And, I probably never will. While we say that these things will never happen again, they have, they do, and they are... right now. Genocide, torture, ethnic cleansing, and the division of people happen every day all across the globe. We all have a responsibility to stop these actions. And while Berlin (and Germany) is still trying to recover from a century of killing, hatred, and destruction, I think it shows a positive example of how to cope and come to grips with the actions of the past.

So, do I hate Berlin? No. Do I want to go back and see the positive sides of the city? Yes. I have never felt so emotionally drained in such a short time. Berlin seems to be a metropolitan city with a bright future and, again, one of great importance for the Federal German Republic... and the world. I want to see more of the country and to discover what makes Germans German. I want to travel to Munich, Frankfurt, Bremen, Freiburg, and Dortmund. But, this will have to wait for another time and another date. The only memories that I have of Germany are, unfortunately, the horrors that took place in Berlin.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. This post was about as serious as I have/will ever be. But, hopefully it has provided everyone with some food for thought.

Hope all is well back home.

Love & Honor (forever and a day),

Matt